Mono/poly pairings aren’t exactly doomed to failure, but the inherent dynamics are much more challenging than relationships in which both parties share similar love-styles.
Not only does everyone love differently, but we all find fulfillment in different ways.
"Being polyamorous feels hard-wired to their love-lives," says sexuality educator Aida Manduley, MSW.
Meanwhile, people in an open relationship don't necessarily think of non-monogamy as part of their identity as much as a personal preference.
Everyone's definitions of polyamory and open relationships is personal to them, of course, and the "open relationship" label is commonly used in two different ways, according to Terri Conley, Ph D, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, who focuses on sexual behavior and socialization.
In most cases, it's used to encompass all forms of consensual non-monogamy — like polyamory, swinging, and the narrower definition of an open relationship.
It's not about having one night stands with your partner's permission, it's about creating deep emotional and romantic bonds with multiple people and forming a tight-knit community."Everyone knows each other, they hang out together, they party together," she says.That closeness creates a different dynamic in their relationships than someone in an open relationship would have.Sure, it took a little easing into after years of mononormative cultural conditioning.But at this point, after so many years of being poly, monogamy is almost as alien to me as polyamory is to strictly monogamous people.